Dear DeAnna: What am I doing wrong online?

Visitor’s Question of the Day: Dear DeAnna, I have tried several online dating and several cost money just to get in contact with the other person! I don’t want to pay for this type of service so I joined up with a 100% free site, but STILL I have yet to find Mr. Right! Let’s just say it has been more than one year to find “him” however, by now I lost my faith in any “datesite” and feel I should lower my expectations yet I don’t want to go through any more “in-between” guys until the right one comes along! Any tips to for me to find my soulmate online?

-Grace; 38, Colorado

DeAnna’s Answer:

Hi Grace,
I’m sorry to hear that you guys aren’t getting great results online, I know it can sometimes be frustrating! But
just from the brief information I’ve been given, there’s a few things I see that could be going on that are hindering your online success: #1 is that you may be making mistakes in your search parameters or in your communication, online and/or on these dates that are causing you to get ignored or rejected, or have the wrong types of people showing up. There’s a whole different set of rules & skills when you’re communicating & dating online.  #2: It sounds like you’re putting all your eggs into 1 basket – Online Dating – to find ‘Mr. Right,’ when online dating should really only be used as one avenue in your multifaceted dating search.

And #3 is that your profile alone could be sending all the wrong messages or turning people off. Some very simple-but fatal mistakes you may be making (as the majority of people do)  just in your profile and/or photos alone can be biggest cause of your lack of success! So many profiles send major red flags totally unintentionally. And you definately don’t want to potentially miss out on your soulmate – and lots of other great dates – because of something so preventable as having a poor profile. If you need any help determining if you’re profile is sending the right or wrong messages, of course you can contact me for a profile makeover!

Good luck

DeAnna

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Bad Dating Habits that may keep you Single!

The majority of people who stay single or who seem to be “unlucky in love” fall into what are actually called ‘dating traps,’ or, certain patterns that you repeat, usually unconsciously, when you’re dating and in relationships that keep winding you back to square one and single again, whether they’re 25 or 60. As a dating coach a large part of what I do is help my clients to identify & overcome these unhealthy and unwise dating traps so they can experience far greater success in their dating life.

Here is round 1 of the 14 most common Deadly Dating Traps:

“The Marketing Trap:” This is when you believe you need to make yourself more appealing to attract or “sell” yourself with an attractive packaging and presentation. Perhaps you get cosmetic surgery, you’re very conscious of your appearance and weight, and so on because you believe all of that has to be near perfect in order for people to want to date you. But when you fall into the marketing trap, you fear that nobody wants you as you really are.

The Packaging Trap: When you focus too much on someone else’s outside packaging – such as someone’s body, looks, job, and so on – and overlook the reality of the person inside. This trap results in relationship failure when you constantly choose the wrong people, as well as overlook lots of potentially good, compatible prospects.

The “Scarcity Trap:” This is when you believe that there’s a limited supply of potential partners out there. You’re dating or getting into a relationship with the first decent person that comes your way because you fear that there’s ‘not enough good people to go around’ and you’d much rather take what you can get now then be alone. But this trap often results in relationship failure because there is a temptation to settle for less than your ideal, just because it’s there. And unfortunately it’s a self fulfilling prophecy because when you expect less, you get less. (This is one of the most common traps that I see ALL the time, and I help clients overcome the ‘scarcity’ mindset & trade it in for the ‘abundance’ attitude that will yield success.)

The Compatibility Trap: Assuming that since you have fun together and you get along well and have lots to talk about, that you are compatible and that a committed relationship could work. But the traits that make up compatibility are much more than just ‘getting along,’ and you need to learn what those things are if you want a lasting relationship. Good Hollywood example: Britney Spears & “K-Fed.” But average people of all ages fall into this trap all the time and it keeps them continuously single, so watch out for it’s presence.

The Total Absorption Trap: When you have a tendency when you get in a relationship with someone you really like to essentially wrap your world up in your partner, often giving up your other interests and friends to spend more time with him/her, etc. This not only results in unhealthy relationships, but usually sends your partner running in the opposite direction too.

The “Instant Couple” Trap: Becoming an “instant couple” with nearly every person you date, or you have a tendency to transition swiftly from first date to serious relationship. This is also known as a ‘Serial Dater,’ and the behavior results in a lot of wasted time, energy and emotional baggage.

The “Rescue Trap.” Hoping a relationship will fix whatever you don’t like about yourself or your life, or solve your emotional and financial difficulties and bring you happiness and fulfillment, something like winning the lottery. This trap results in desperation, neediness, and relationship failure when your problems increase instead of disappearing like you’d hoped.

Do any of those sound familiar at all? I bet several will, because they are quite common among singles. But the smart ones will learn how to recognize it and take action steps to prevent falling into them. The ones that stay chronically single are the ones that keep falling into them… So if you want help overcoming your dating traps, sign up for Coaching with me & I’ll help you quickly & painlessly shed them so you can start improving your dating life.

Comments or Questions about this post? What experiences have you had with these traps? I want to hear about them!

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Contact DeAnna Lorraine!

DeAnna Lorraine
(858) 405-0210
Deanna@DeannaLorraine.com

 

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How to Buy a Girl a Drink!

By Bruce Stirling

You have to send ships out to get ships back.  A well timed drink sent across a bar is a great ice breaker if done well.  Most fellas don’t do it right!

First, you don’t want to look like a stalker and you sure don’t want to deliver the drink yourself.  Tell the bartender to send them whatever they are drinking and then do nothing.  Don’t even look in their direction.  Mind your own business and things will take their course naturally.  Too many guys run over there or make fools of themselves waving and such.  It’s just a drink.  They owe you nothing and you should expect nothing.  My friend, a dating maven, insists on anonymity when he does this and will not make eye contact making the recipient figure out where the drink came from.  Mysteriously, like all laws of the universe, they are usually compelled to find the donor.

At most, if they deduce the drink’s origin, a smile and a nod is max.  If they come over simply say “I’m glad you enjoyed it” and introduce yourself.  As in any social setting a few questions of interest to them and the ice is broken and you’re sailing along.

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Sign up for my ‘Dating STIMULUS Plan’ Today!

Are you in a stagnant dating drought & can’t figure out why you’re not getting anywhere? Are you frustrated with meeting the same types of people & never anyone that’s truly promising? Want to give your dating life a significant push in the right direction & take the short-cut to finally finding a real relationship? Then you need my new Dating Stimulus Plan – the fast & convenient way to accelerate your dating life & begin attracting your soulmate that won’t bust your bank account. And for a limited time only until April, this Stimulus Plan is one that everyone can afford and be excited about. Purchase yours today and let’s get started!

The Dating STIMULUS Plan: Everything you need to bring results to your Dating Life & Stimulate it Now! The package includes: 3 Powerful (Phone) Date Coaching Sessions ($375 Value) We’ll figure out where you currently stand in the 8 Core Areas of Dating & Relationship Success and outline the steps for you to take on in order to catapult your love life & finally achieve the results you want in your dating life & attract your soul-mate. We’ll uncover your hidden ‘blind spots,’ self-destructive patterns, & where you go wrong in the dating process so you can fix them for good & start seeing dramatic improvement almost immediately! An Online Dating Profile Review & Edit ($100 Value) A full evaluation, review, and edit of your online dating profile, photos, headline, & the 5 Essential components of the Online Dating Profile. If you don’t already have one, I’ll help you create one & make it seriously stand out amongst the huge sea of online daters. Stop getting overlooked & ignored due to a poor profile. This alone will multiply the number of quality dates and responses you get online. A Personalized Dating Strategy & Relationship Attraction Plan ($75 value) We’ll Create your “Dream Partner” profile…and I’ll show you how to manifest & attract it I’ll provide you with a personalized roadmap that outlines for you where and how to find romantic prospects that match what you’re looking for and how to attract & succeed with them. Expert Dating Advice, tips, guidance & support from me throughout. You’ll receive this entire ’stimulus’ package valued at over $550 for just two payments of: $169 (Offer ends April 1st)! WELL-Worth the money & I highly recommend this plan to accelerate & “stimulate” your dating life affordably, whether you’ve been single for a while & ready to meet your soulmate or you’re newly single and want to do it right this time around! Pay now for the first half, and pay the remainder in 2 weeks. Click the Payment link below (Takes All major credit cards, Paypal or e-check) and I will contact you immediately to set it up! Since I do phone coaching, anyone from anywhere can buy this package. Plan Options Pay Half $169.00

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Watch DeAnna on Rachael Ray Wednesday!

Watch your favorite Dating Coach on the Rachael Ray Show Wednesday, Feb. 25th! The show airs at 9:00am on KGTV (10) if you’re in San Diego, or KCBS (Channel 2) if you’re in LA, and check here for show-times if you’re anywhere else. This is the segment where DeAnna gave one RR viewer an online dating profile makeover, and she goes on the show to discuss the results of the makeover before and after and how I helped her! Don’t miss it. PLUS for this week only (February 23rd-28th)  I’ll be offering the same profile makeover for only $99 – originally $149-just for RR viewers. 

Check out these Online Dating specials HERE!

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DeAnna on AJ’s Playhouse 2/18 at 8:30

Tune into AJ’s Playhouse on Channel 933 (radio) from 8:30-9am Wednesday morning, Feb. 18th as I do my regular dating spot!And by the way if you have any suggestions for future dating topics you’d like me to discuss over the air, send me an email with topic suggestions and I may use yours next time!

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SPiN Singles Mixer 4-30 @ the Del Mar Doubletree

If you missed the last singles mixer last month, it was an incredible turn-out! Over 100 fabulous singles there, appetizers, drinks, dancing & good times. SPiN “After Hours” (Single Professionals Network) is a new organization I just launched for the young/ young professionals, 21-40 crowd; It’s the hottest young professionals group in San Diego, holding 2 events per month. It will ALSO be a full online social media community AND online dating site. The website will be finished by next week, and it’s looking awesome; you guys are going to love being a part of the community. The official launch party for SPiN is Thursday, April 30th, at the DoubleTree in Del Mar. I’ll be there again giving everyone complimentary 5-minute Date Coaching mini-sessions. Pre-sale tickets are $10 online, or $20 at the door. Purchase below. See you there!

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MEN: How to Attract & Succeed with Women Teleseminar

So you’re Successful & Smart…Now Where are all the Ladies??

New Dating Teleseminar exclusively for single men who seem to have it all…except the women. Are you a software engineer or IT guy who’s been hiding behind your computer for 10 years? Or a successful business owner who’s traded in dating for running a business? Or just an average guy who wants to learn the secrets to attracting more women? Then this seminar is for you.

Learn the essential dating, attraction & relationship skills necessary to connect & succeed with the women that you want (3-Week Teleseminar)

What you’ll Learn: Discover how to eliminate the fear of rejection so you can have the confidence to seize all the dating opportunities that come to you. Discover how to develop your own powerful “Inner Game” that will allow you to attract the women you want. Discover the 4 Categories that women put men into upon meeting them, and find out which one you you’re in. Learn how to confidently approach & talk to women anytime, anywhere, and how to successfully ask them out (and get “Yes’s”) Learn the 5 Qualities that need to be present in order for a woman to be sexually attracted to you – and how to develop them! Learn the 8 fatal mistakes that 90% of guys make within the very first interactions that irreparably ruins their chances with women Learn what women are looking for in the first 3 dates that will determine whether to continue dating you, or end it. Learn how to read women as well as how to recognize & pass the subtle “tests” they give men! Learn how to create attraction and interest with women early on – and how to sustain it over time. You’ll learn everything above and then some in 3 Weekly, 1-hour convenient Phone Sessions plus a Follow-up Session with myself and 10-12 other male attendees, all in your same boat! You’ll find tremendous value in having a support network where you can share stories and experiences in a fun & safe environment. And the best part is, you can learn right in the comfort of your own home (hey, you can even have a beer during this class). Plus when you enroll in this Teleseminar, you’ll also enjoy other valuable Bonuses: BONUS #1: Every Session will be recorded! This means if you miss a session you can download it and review what was covered. Plus, you can listen to it again & again to keep your memory fresh. Making this a great program for people who have a busy lifestyle. BONUS #2: You’ll ALSO receive all the supporting documents & text ($75 Value) that goes along with these sessions, that’s yours to keep. I use these very same supporting documents when I coach my private one-on-one male clients, and you’ll get them if you take this Teleseminar! BONUS #3: 4 Weeks of Ongoing Email Communication & Support from Me! ($100 Value) Registration Details: Start Date: Wednesday, April 15th (Till Wednesday, April 29th (3 Evenings) And remember, if you can’t make it every week, not to worry because every class will be recorded! Time: 7:30-8:30pm (PST) Enrollment Fee: $78.00 per person Total (But Fee increases to $89 the week before the first session, so enroll now by paying online! Once you make payment, you’ll be emailed a confirmation for your reserved ’seat’ & additional seminar details. LIMITED SPOTS! Only 12 people Maximum can enroll in the Teleseminar for maximum productivity in class. Spots WILL fill quickly *This is an ongoing Teleseminar series and a new group will begin every month. NEXT Upcoming Men’s Teleseminar Start Dates: Friday, April 24th at 12:00-1:00pm (PST) Monday, May 4th at 7:00-8:00pm (PST)

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Online Dating Account Management & Profile Edit

Stop going about your online dating experience blindly or making deadly mistakes in your profile or emails that can be costing lots of great dates. Check out my top online dating services to help you open the floodgates to lots of more dates and opportunities and maximize your online dating success!

• “Personal Search” & Online Dating Account Management (I do the the searching & the ‘dirty work’ for you, while you get to reap the rewards).
• Purchase the Ultimate Online Dating Profile Makeover Package featured on the Rachel Ray show and San Diego Living Shows! For this week only it is nearly 50% off. See page for more details.

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