A lot of people, and especially typical PUAs, will tell you that you’ve got to play a lot of games in order to attract women.
Here are some other things they tell you:
- That you should play really hard to get, to get women to “chase” you
- That you shouldn’t compliment a woman who’s hot
- That you shouldn’t express your feelings to a girl, that you should act apathetic and elusive so she’ll have to guess whether you’re even interested in her or not.
Well obviously I am a woman, female dating & relationship coach and I can tell you this firsthand that it’s BS.
I’m here to tell you that – that’s wrong! That doesn’t really work. Here are some actual truths about the matter.
- Women WANT to feel desired. When we feel desired, it makes US feel frisky and desire YOU
- Women want to feel pursued. Most quality, self-respecting women who actually have other options won’t “chase” after guys.
- When you’re verbally and physically expressing your attraction toward us, it pumps up the sexual energy and tension and makes us feel hot for YOU.
- If we’re not even sure you like us or are attracted to us, we’re going to feel distant from you, pull back with our own feelings, and create even more distance. We also may be spending a majority of the time while hanging out with you or in-between dates, feeling insecure and over-analyzing things trying to figure out whether you like us or not. This is NOT a positive feeling. Why would you want us spending a majority of time feeling that way, when we could be spending most of our time thinking about you sexually and having really positive thoughts about you?
- There’s a difference between acting needy, smothering, over-eager, and “chasing “ a girl, and “Confidently Pursuing” a woman. Learn the difference!
- There’s a difference between being over the top gushing compliments left and right to a woman and doting on her like a googly-eyed whipped wussy, and telling her, in a confident and sexy way, when you think she looks hot, or that she has a sexy smile, or that you’re into her.
Also, women actually really like it when a man is “real” and unabashedly authentic.
When he speaks his mind, expresses how he feels and is straightforward. It is actually more rare these days for women to hear a guy shoot from the hip like that, and so it actually has the effect of coming off as refreshing and sexy to a woman. So much so that I created a term for it that I call “Sexy Authentic” that I teach my guys in my coaching programs.
While teaching you this concept fully takes more elaborating, here’s some quick tips to guide you into being Sexy Authentic:
When you’re assertive and confident and act like a Boss in your life, your career, with your friends and with her, and you are strongly rooted in and exuding your masculine energy, you give her the impression that you’re a no-BS kind of guy and that you are nobody’s bitch or beta.
When you act that way, you can be silly, goofy, playful, tell her you like her and express your sexual interest and attraction toward her, but it won’t ever make you seem wussy or insecure or needy, or lower your value.
Remember, It’s all about balance for guys.
- Swear sometimes or be a little raw or “off the cuff” in your communication, in-person and texting.
This gives you the perception that you’re “real” and more authentic.
When you are so careful and censored in your communication when you’re around a woman you like and you’re trying too hard to be polite, you can come across as too polished and fake.
You can still be a gentleman, but talk in a way that’s more real.
- Keep up an interesting and full life and social life –
This keeps your perceived value high and you won’t lose value if you’re simultaneously pursing her. Women want to be pursued, but if you’re entire life revolves around just her, and you’re available every moment that she is, that’s when you start coming across as a bit needy. But there’s definitely a middle ground. You want to show interest in her, but you’ve also got “multiple plates spinning” and she’s one of them, she’s not your entire universe that you’re wrapped around.
And if you need or want any further coaching from me to personally teach you how to easily create these emotions in women, fill out my Dating Needs Assessment form so I can schedule a 1-on-1 call with you and help you out.
Now go get ’em, Tigers! xo
DeAnna Lorraine is a mens dating coach and a mens Dating Coach and Relationship expert
how to attract women