Reader’s Dating Dilemma of the Week! NEW

Reader Dating Dilemma of the Week: Frustrations with Approaching Women!

Dear Ms. Lorraine,
I’m writing to you because I’m seriously upset and discouraged with the lack of results I’m getting with women and my failures in approaching women. I have been working on getting better at approaching women by trying to say hello to just about every woman I come across, even if their back is to me in some cases.
An incident today sent me over the edge and makes me just want to throw in the towel & just accept my fate of loneliness. So, as I was in line at a take-out place on my way home from work, I made eye contact with the woman that was last in line before she turned her back to me. As she turned her back, I said hello to her. She initially didn’t respond, so I said hello again. She then turned around and said hello.

As I waited in line, the woman in front of me was with the women being waited on at the cash register. During this time the woman waiting at the cash register and the woman in front of me began making eye contact but not saying anything. They began snickering, so I’m assuming it was about me. They had a small boy with them (he had sunglasses on), but I don’t think they were laughing at him.

This has really affected my confidence, and I was feeling pretty good up to that point. I’m depressed about it, and can’t seem to quit dwelling on the situation. Maybe I need wait on this approaching thing until I get in shape or something. I just feel bad about myself right now.

-Tom, 38

DeAnna’s Answer…

Dear Tom,

First of all, I’m really glad that you’ve been taking action on this problem and actively going out and talking to people. That’s where it all starts – with talking to EVERYONE, no matter who they are. As for as what happened, I’m sorry that you feel bad about that and you decided to let that get you down. But in actuality, I consider that a non-incident. First of all, you have no evidence that the lady was even snickering at you to begin with, so to come to that assumption with no evidence is hasty and false, and worse, to let that hasty conclusion with no merit to it bring your self-esteem down and halt the rest of your efforts – is ludicrous! Why are you giving this stranger that you don’t even know and you’ll never see again so much power to affect you?  Aren’t you more powerful and in control of your state you’re your confidence than that?  And aside from that, let’s just say she was in fact snickering at you, perhaps because you said hello twice to her when her back was turned to you, and perhaps she wasn’t in a mood for small-talking or what not…. do you really care? What about if you just laughed to yourself and found it funny instead, patting yourself on the back for trying something new and stepping outside your comfort zone, brushing it off and moving right along to someone else? The fact that you even talked to someone when you wouldn’t have before is an accomplishment; THAT’S what I want you to focus on, these small continuous accomplishments  -  NOT on the actual outcomes. Because there is NO such thing as ‘failure’ my friend –only feedback! You MUST remember this and live this out, because it’s true. LET GO of the outcome and whatever a woman’s reaction is and understand that you’re going to have a heck of a lot more of those along the way, but they’ll get fewer and fewer the more you do and the positive interactions will get  more and more frequent the more approaches you do. It’s called “LEARNING.”

Do you think if you learned to snowboard for the first time you might fall a few times before you could go down the hill? Ummm… yes. You fall DOZENS of times. Just like with EVERY single sport and EVERY new skill and thing that you learn and have ever learned! Did you ever fall a couple times when you first learned to, I don’t know, WALK? Didn’t you fall over a couple of times when you first learned to ride a bike? What would happen if the very first time you fell when learning to ride your bike, you threw a fit, got all depressed, kicked all your gear off and gave up on the whole damn sport simply because you fell once? You’d never learn for one. And for two, you have proven to yourself, time and time again, that your brain is fully capable of learning a new skill. All beings learn. Even clams and plants have a learning curve. The only reason why some people learn a new skill faster than others is because they practice more. That’s all it is.

That also explains why you see every day average looking or even downright unattractive men walking around with beautiful girlfriends or are able to what seems like ‘effortlessly’ approach and charm women. Believe me, they were not somehow born knowing how to do that. Well, most aren’t anyway. It’s only the result of a decision that they made that they wouldn’t let their appearances be a limitation for them anymore and, and the result of practice – doing it over and over again, each time learning from the ‘feedback’ they get and improving and improving each time till they can achieve their desired outcome nearly every time.

And do you think it would make any difference at all if you ‘waited till you were in better shape’ and then tried again a year later? No! because you still have to get through the learning phase regardless, no matter what kind of shape you’re in, and that will always take some falling down; that part’s inevitable and there’s no getting around that. One can never get from A to C without first crossing through B. But you CAN control your attitude through it and the way you deal with the inevitable fallings. If you just have fun with it and laugh when you fall down, learn from the feedback, and try it again you’re going to succeed, accelerate the process, and have a far more enjoyable and positive experience along the way, but if every time you fall you get all depressed and bent out of shape and let it affect your mood and confidence, you’re  going to make it a heck of a lot harder on yourself, you’ll slow down the process and you’ll have a negative & un-enjoyable experience along the way. So why make it harder on yourself David, why not just have fun with it and take each new encounter as another story for the books?

But In order to get over the initial hurt and ‘sting’ of being turned down, you have to face it head on and go through it a number of times, as each time  stings less and less until its completely gone and it doesn’t even phase you. Just like when you work out and use muscles that you haven’t in a while you get sore afterward, but after your muscles and body gets used to the routine, you’re no longer sore after your workout. Well this is the same exact thing! All you have to do is simply pass through this short little beginning stage and then you’re out on the other side – happy and confident, successful with women, and able to approach and attract women easily and effortlessly.

Don’t stop now at this little bump in the road when you’re doing so well, keep going ahead!!

And if you need more help, sign up for my Men’s 90-Day Coaching Plan and we’ll eliminate your approaching issue in less than a few weeks

~DeAnna

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How to Meet the Parents & Survive the Holiday!

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How to “Meet the Parents” & Pass the Holidays with Flying colors!

Meeting the family of your new girlfriend/boyfriend for the first time? Spending a holiday with them and need tips for not only surviving it unscathed but wowing their pants off and coming out of it with a trophy for Boyfriend/Girlfriend of the Year?” Relax – I’ve come to the rescue to save your holiday. Would I leave you hanging? Read this handy guide I put together for you complete with unforeseen hidden “tests” – and take copious notes!

1.    Get the inside scoop beforehand. This is very important. Before you even go over there, talk to your partner about the family and event dynamics so you can prep yourself for success. Ask your partner who they expect will be there, get their names and descriptions, and ask for some details on key people so you can be better equipped to start conversations and you can namedrop details here and there. For instance, is cousin Eric the Guitar Hero pro? Does Aunt Maria make the best stuffing west of the Missisipi? Did Uncle Jim just recently achieve a company award or did sister Stacy just come back from a trip from France? Get a couple details down, and you’ll be sure to impress when you namedrop them upon meeting them. You can also ask you partner if there’s anything you should know about the dynamics of the family and event. For instance, should you be prepared to answer 20 questions from Dad? Should you walk lightly on the topic of work around Eric who recently lost his job? Should you not ask about Aunt Gina’s relationship because it’s “sensitive?” Etc. Again, if you know these things beforehand you can avoid potentially embarrassing and awkward situations that can leave you quickly outside the “circle of trust.”
2.    Dress Up, dress CLASSY & dress Conservative. Okay, I know a freshly starched button-down collared shirt or tapered dress isn’t half as comfortable as jeans and a T or your tattered punk clothes, SUCK IT UP and ‘suit up!’ This isn’t a time for cutting corners and opt for comfort, or to rebel against yuppies by expressing your “individual style” with “emo” pants or nose rings a la Adam Lambert. No matter what kind of family it is, even if you’re visiting a family that lives in a farm, as a general rule of thumb, as my mother so lovingly engrained in me, “It’s always better to overdress than under-dress.” Select your outfit for the big day a few days beforehand and make sure you get the stamp of approval from your partner so you can have time to go shopping for some new threads in case it doesn’t get the thumbs up.

Your goal is to fit in with the family’s style as much as possible. You can’t really go wrong with a button-down collared shirt and khakis, black slacks or nice jeans. For women, this isn’t the time to let the fam see how sexy you can look or show off your newly-tanned midriff. The look you want to achieve is classy, wholesome, and conservative yet comfortable. Showing any midriff or cleavage or sporting your stilettos and a mini is like a kiss of death to man’s mother. Show him you’re the kind of girl he can bring home to momma by toning it down and wearing a cute and classy dress with a cardigan or nice pants and a sweater if it’s cold. Wear simple jewelry and tone down the makeup if you tend to wear a lot typically. If the holiday runs more than a day, pack a few extra outfits like a staple dress, some comfy loungewear, and a casual outfit. Be sure to pack a swimsuit as well(you don’t want to be the only fish out of the water if swimming’s on the menu, or worse, have to awkwardly borrow one of dad or mom’s swimsuit that’s 6 sizes too large).

3.    BRING something to the occasion – the token Guest Gift. This shows thoughtfulness, appreciation and class. You really can’t go wrong with a bottle of nice red or white wine (don’t go cheapo here, especially in case they’re wine connoisseurs – opt for a bottle in the $15-$40 range, it’s worth it). Pair it with a nice hand-written note thanking them for having you in their home, and perhaps even a small but thoughtful gift such as a plant or flowers. If you’re a woman, bring homemade cookies or dessert (or if you don’t cook, you can buy some, but homemade will give you extra ‘brownie points.”)
4.    Make sure you reach out and shake everyone’s hand when you see them, make sure you shake with your right hand and that your handshake is FIRM. If you already know you have a great handshake, then use it. If you aren’t sure (this is especially true for women, or men who haven’t been in business long) test it out on a trusted friend and get their honest feedback. For a man, your handshake should be firm and strong (but not a bone-crushing grip) and you should make direct eye contact while you’re doing so (especially if you’re shaking the father, brothers or uncle’s hand!). For a woman, your shake should still be firm (do NOT just shake with the tips of your fingers like a prissy princess, which exudes entitlement) but it should also bend a little in a natural, feminine way. Eye contact is very important. And remember their names when you shake their hand!

5.    Be extra mindful of your manners. I hate to state the obvious, but you’d be surprised how often these things slip when you’re not realizing it or when you’re so nervous about impressing the fam. As a reminder: Always say please and thank you, don’t get more than one course of food unless everyone else is (and always let family serve themselves first) and keep your space neat! This includes making your bed or the couch in the morning. Don’t sleep in – make sure you’re up at the same time or earlier as everyone else so you’re not known as “Sleepy Sam.”

6.   Offer to Help: Here’s another big one, and one that lots of mothers often test for (mine especially – this is considered a ‘red flag’ when someone’s poor date forgets to do this!). Offer to help whenever possible. So when they’re cooking the meal, go into the kitchen and ask if there’s anything you could do to help. When they start clearing dishes after the meal, get up and help them clear dishes or sincerely offer to help. Offer to help them clean up afterward or just pick up a sponge yourself and go at it.

7.    Bond with the family. Make sure you’re friendly and social and talk to every one of the family members (or at least make a genuine effort to).  Twelve-year-old cousin Nicky isn’t any less important and when others see you talking to every person, you’ll score major points. Spend a little time getting to know each person and asking about their interests, connecting with them on some level, and trying to find things in common or that you could offer your knowledge about or bond about. If you keep to yourself or just with your partner, others will definitely take notice and you’ll come across cold and anti-social. I don ‘t care if you’re shy or suffer from “social anxiety,” MAKE AN EFFORT. But of all people you’ll talk to, the key people that are the most important to bond with if you’re a woman are the mother, and sisters; and if you’re a guy, her father and brothers. These are the ‘Gate-keepers’! Some key pointers:

• a.    When talking to Brothers or Dad: Look them in the eye when you’re talking to them. Try to find out their interests and see if you guys have some things in common. Don’t dodge alone time with any of them, use it as an opportunity to bond. Pick up a pool stick and join them if that’s where the boys are or join them in poker or football.

• b.    Tests that they’re looking for: Make sure that if you get asked about your career or what your goals are or financial situation is, have a clear answer! Never answer with, “I don’t know yet” or “You know, I’m not sure what I want to do yet,” or “I haven’t figured it out yet, I’m just enjoying life right now,” or “I’m having some financial issues right now.” Her family, especially her father, wants to know you have a plan, goals, and financial stability. If you really are not sure what you want to do with your life and career and are in a transitory stage, better to rely with something like, “Well right now my options are A and B and I’m taking 3 months right now to figure out and decide which option will make me the happiest and allow me to create the best future and financial stability for me and my future family.” So that doesn’t sound like you’re just drifting, you want to still illustrate that you have some kind of plan and timeline in place which will ease their worries a bit and make you sound more responsible. If they ask you what some of your future goals are, say SOMETHING. Don’t just say, “I don’t know.” Men in particular when asking these kinds of questions are testing more for traits like decisiveness, responsibility, ambition and stability and the ability to plan rather than the content of your answers themselves.

• c.    For women, bond with the other women by: Joining them in the kitchen if that’s where the majority o the women are, and offering to cook and clean. Even if you’re more like “one of the guys” and prefer to be in the midst of the poker game and you can’t cook a casserole to save your life, at least spend some time to bond with the gals and gab, gossip, or whatever it is they do to fit in.

• d.    Tests that they’re looking for: Mothers and sisters are often testing for signs that you’ll make a good wife and mother to their son/brother. That’s why you should show your domestic side by lending a helping hand in the kitchen, and play a little with the baby if there’s one around, and, especially if you’re a power career-woman type, show them your soft side and let them know you’re not all about work. They’re also looking for signs that show you are loyal and committed for the long-haul and have strong values. Don’t dress or say anything skanky, don’t be inappropriately touchy-feely with your partner, and don’t correct them when they’re telling stories, and don’t nag them or redicule them in front of others. Don’t ever talk about them in a negative way or make complaints about them to any family members, even if they do. One of my uncles had a girlfriend that he was living with for 2 years, and although I really liked her, she would often talk to me or other family members about an argument they recently had or an issue they were having or how she was getting worried that he hadn’t proposed to her yet and would seek my opinions or advice on the matter. Not the best strategy girl! Don’t do this, even if you are really close and comfortable with the family. It puts the person you’re talking to in an awkward position and downright doesn’t look good on your part.

8.    Do as the Romans Do. In other words, FIT IN. If the family is playing football, go out to the field. If it’s their tradition to play Jenga or Scrabble after dinner, happily join in. Don’t try to get a jail out of free card because “you’re in heels” or you “just straightened your hair” or you’re “not a jock.” If you sit out on the sidelines, you stand out and you become the topic of conversation later as to why you refused to join in the family games and tradition. Again its one of those things that you just have to suck up and do if you want to get their approval.
9.    Be Easy & Easygoing. Don’t be too picky  or difficult with food or make strange demands or have people do extra things for you. If you’re a vegetarian or vegan, don’t request that they make you a separate vegetarian dish, unless they volunteer to. If the whole fam is drinking water don’t request a soda or request red wine if the rest of them are drinking white. Just go with the flow and roll with the punches. Now is not the time to have them cater to your ultra-picky demands or idiosyncrasies. Stay with your mission to fit in, and it’ll all be over before you know it.

10.    Conversation – strike a balance. Don’t be too quiet or know one will get to know you. But you also don’t want to dominate conversations or try too hard to be funny or outgoing, or it’ll turn others off. Talk less then your partner on the whole, and don ‘t go overboard with storytelling or jokes. Subtly is the key, you don’t need to be a one-man stand-up comedy show or the Life of the Party for them to like you. Show you have a sense of humor and that you’re sociable, but remember that this is their family and their holiday, and ultimately you are the outsider. So let them talk more and share stories and news, and know that you don’t need to add your two cents about everything or talk too much about yourself.  Avoid boasting and one-upping people. Also, if your partner has any news or recent accomplishments to share with the family, let your partner be the one to share it first; don’t do it for them. Don’t overstep your boundaries by acting like you’re already a part of the family when you’re still on the outside.

Final Tips to Seal the Deal:

• Thank them! Lastly, make sure you thank them again on your way out, give them a hug and let them know it was great meeting and spending time with them. Then seal the deal by sending a personal thank you card in the mail a few days later. Compliment them on their home when you walk in. say, “Wow, I love your home, it’s beautiful!” no matter if it’s a mansion or a shack. If you notice other details like their choices of art on the walls or the mother’s collection of lladros or drapes, notice and compliment them on those things as well and you’ll warm their heart and get on their good side. Avoid gushing and bearing over-the-top with compliments though or you’ll come across phony.

• Follow their “House Rules.” If the mother insists on you and your partner sleeping in separate rooms in the house even at age 42, just DO it, period, and don’t try to sneak around in the middle of the night (or get a hotel). There may be cameras set up. If it’s their tradition to wake up at 8 and do chores, don’t rebel against it by sleeping in, join them.

• Don’t get drunk. I know you’re nervous, but now’s not the time to pound shots and suck back tequila to loosen the nerves. Have a few drinks if that’s what the family’s doing, but keep your wits about you and avoid getting sloppy. Even if the 260 pound Marine Corp uncle is challenging you to see who could slam back more shots of Cuervo, know your limits and if you feel you’re getting close then politely refuse and take a water break. I remember a boyfriend I brought to Thanksgiving one year who ended up making an idiot of himself after 9 or 10 shots, swearing and slurring, “I just F’king love your daughter, she’s so F’king great, F’k!” Didn’t go over too well the next day. And then a poor girlfriend my brother brought one year who spent the second half of the evening curled up on the bathroom floor hugging the toilet seat. Don’t be that girl (or guy)!

Follow these guideline and you’ll be sure to breeze through the holiday with flying colors and get raving reviews immediately following!

-Copywrite 2009, DeAnna Lorraine

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Love Styles (& Lessons) of the Rich & Famous

Which Love Style are YOU?

1. Jennifer Anniston:
1. Her Love Style? Nice… but Plain, Predictable, and Bor-ing! Aka, “Replaceable.”
2. Lesson Learned: Make sure YOU are not just the ‘ordinary,’ replaceable girl. Be conscious of when you may be becoming predictable and boring in your relationships; Mix it up, and find ways to stand out from other women.

(More details in full version)

2. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt:
1. Brangelina’s Love Style: Exciting, Mysterious, Fun & Unpredictable! The ideal ingredients for a long-lasting, passionate relationship. The only concern here is that there are so many children that they will become the sole focus and the relationship will merely become “all about the kids.”
2. Lesson Learned: Either you’re growing together or you’re growing apart. Make a commitment to regularly try new things with your partner, challenge each other, learn & grow upwards together. Don’t fall into the trap of letting your kids become the sole focus of your lives rather than your relationship with your lover.

3. Leonardo DiCaprio:
1. Love Style: The “Packaging Trap.” Focused primarily on the outside “packaging” without looking very far into the inside. Only dates Supermodels and gorgeous women, but in the end, has nothing to show for them.
2. Lessons Learned: Grow up & get over the ego-boost of having a beautiful trophy girl on your arm and start seeking out partners that you’re compatible with at a deeper level if you actually want a long-lasting, genuine relationship & connection.

4. Kristin Cavallari, Kate Hudson, Jude Law:
1. Love Style: The Magnetic Players: They never have a shortage of dates, enjoy keeping their options open, and are independent, fun, alluring and magnetic!
2. Lesson Learned: When you have a carefree & fun approach to dating and an abundance attitude rather than a scarcity mindset, you will literally act as a “magnet” to others & attract an abundance of options! (See my website for more on adopting the “abundance attitude” & eliminating the “Scarcity” mindset)

5. Will Smith & Jada Pinkett; Barack & Michelle Obama:
1. Their Love Style: “Powerful, Passionate Partnership.” These couples are Best Friends, Power Partners and Supportive Lovers. They embody that of a true complimentary partnership comprised of strong, powerful men and equally strong, assertive women but who balance each other out and challenge each other but without any power struggle. They still have fun together & also understand the importance of keeping the romance alive through regular “Date Nights” and alone time.
2. Lesson Learned: Support each other’s goals and dreams, act as a team, and be friends and lovers. Be sure to maintain your romantic connection through the craziness of your lives through regular bonding activities like Date Nights and romantic getaways.

6. Jessica Simpson:
1. Love Style: Smothering, Clingy, and Wears her Heart on her Sleeve! She is always gushing about her boyfriends, and never leaves her feelings to imagination. In recent interview calling Tony Romo her “future husband,” and immersing herself in the men she dates.
2. Lesson Learned: Avoid wearing your heart on your sleeve and don’t offer up all your feelings in the beginning of the relationship, especially when your partner has not yet expressed his/hers. Whenever you’re tempted to gush about how much you like your new love interest, take a breath, hold it back, and wait. Mystery is key to building attraction.

7. Justin Timberlake:
1. Love Style: “The Serial Monogamist.” JT drifts from one long-term relationship right on into the next and then the next, without ever any time just spent being single and figuring out what he really wants. This wastes a lot of time.
2. Lesson learned: You should know within the first 6 months (1 year at the most) whether or not this person has got wife or husband potential for you; and if it’s been longer than 6 months or a year and you’re still “on the fence” about her/him, still not certain whether she/he is the one….99% of the time, she/he’s not. So break it off sooner and don’t draw it out.

8. Jon & Kate ( + 8 ) :
1. Love Style: Imbalanced, Unhealthy and Manipulative! Kate is far too controlling and manipulative and clearly wears the “pants,” while Jon is far too passive and weak; years of her controlling him and all their decisions with him never asserting himself has resulted in a deflated man, and dysfunctional relationship where the children are the sole focus, and eventually, the marriage’s demise.
2. Lesson Learned: Kate pushed her desires on Jon, and coerced him into doing things he didn’t really want( like having more kids); Women, if you push something on a man that doesn’t really want it but is doing it just to please you, it’s not going to result in a positive outcome. And men, if you don’t really want something, you need to speak up and assert yourself and negotiate rather than giving in just to please your woman.

9. Bill & Hillary Clinton:
1. Love Style: All business & no romance, this pair’s relationship is more like that of business partners than actual lovers.
2. Lesson Learned: If you are a working couple or are in business you’re your partner, don’t get so caught up in the minutia of work and business that you forget about passion and intimacy; Remember that you are partners and lovers first and foremost, and make time to be romantic and sensual with each other. Keep your sex life alive and fresh!

10. Bella & Edward: Vampire Couple of Twilight!
1. Love Style: Dramatic, passionate and unorthodox. Bella is a strong, independent, highly intelligent and assertive woman and Edward is “all man,” They don’t have to argue or compete for the dominant role in the relationship; this is an opportunity for a strong woman be with a man strong enough for her to be vulnerable and let him take the lead.
2. Lesson Learned: Men, Edward represents what women REALLY want in a man; a strong man in and of himself, but without the need to “prove” or exert his strength; a man who takes care of and protects his woman, who is strong enough to be romantic and vulnerable, and who can create a safe haven for women to fully be themselves and reveal their vulnerabilities and desires without fearing that you’ll run away, be threatened or scared off by our emotions. Also, woman love the rare man with enough self control where his focus isn’t wrapped up solely in the end goal of sex, but he is intelligent enough to see the rewards of the long-term. Master these techniques of Edward, and you’ll be a man women won’t be able to resist!

For the full version of these tips or to schedule a Date Coaching or Hypnosis Session to enhance your dating success, simply contact me via email at Deanna@DeannaLorraine.com, or check out the rest of my website!

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Don’t Miss DeAnna’s Show This Thursday!

Tune into my Talk Radio Show this Thursday (and every Thursday) at 4:30-5:30pm PST, Cutting Edge Dating, on Blog Talk Radio. Today we welcome another author, Ms. Terri Lee Ryan. Dynamic and certainly very attractive, Ms. Ryan shows us women that yes, there is love after 40 as detailed in her book “Life Is One Big To-Do List: A Woman’s Life After 40″. Injected with a large dose of life experience, the book tackles issues head-on, such as dealing with divorce, re-entering the dating world, to finally realizing that, yes, it is your life to live and love.

Tune in to the radio show or better yet, CALL in (646) 716-9631 and add your two cents, rants or raves about the special guest or topic at hand, or ask a question for either of us about anything we’ve been talking about. Don’t be shy & Hold back nothing, we love to hear you stir up the pot! Tune in by listening to the show here (click on the logo below): Then bookmark it!

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Calling San Diego’s most Eligible Singles!

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Presenting The “Tweet your Heart Out” Charity Date Auction Tweetup!

Sponsored by @TheeDatingCoach & @DowntownRob at Stingaree

SEE all the Details & Dates for the Exciting Event!

APPLY to be one of Twitter’s 16 ‘Most Eligible’ Bachelors/ettes! (Or “nominate” someone! Deadline: August 28th)
Simply submit the Form Below! You will then be added and will be notified by august 30th whether you have been chosen or not.

Apply/Nominate someone to be a Bachelor/ette!

1. Gender: (Male or Female)
2. Male Female
3. Your Name(required)
4. Age(required)
5. Current Occupation(required)
6. Email(valid email required)
7. Phone #
8. Twitter Username
9. What makes U a most "Eligible Single" in 140 char's?(required)
10. Upload a PHOTO!

 

cforms contact form by delicious:days

Details on the “Tweet your Heart Out Charity Auction Tweetup“: Now – Sept. 17th

DETAILS: We’re doing a whole new twist on the old charity date auction… ‘Twitter style!’

Twitter will play an integral part of the 4-week event as it will serve in facilitating YOUR participation in it and driving everyone to the live event, which will be the culmination of it! Basically we are going to find & select 16 of San Diego’s “most eligible” single men and women on Twitter, and then through a 4 week campaign, find ‘matches’ for them, who will be revealed and ‘voted’ on by YOU at the culminating live event/Tweetup at Stingaree!

Selecting the 16 most “Eligible” Bachelors & Bachelorettes in San Diego (must be on Twitter!). We will be selecting the Bachelors & Bachelorettes over the next two weeks, from the pool of people who have submitted their entries to us (For details or to be entered in the running as 1 of the Bachelors or Bachelorettes, CLICK Here!) The Bachelors and Bachelorettes we select for the auction will be a mix of ‘average’ San Diego singles along with some local high-profile persons & Personalities!

When the Bachelor/ettes have been selected, they will be revealed and ‘showcased’ HERE on this page, on with their photos, names, & ‘vital stats.’

The “Courting” Phase: August 28th-September 10th. Then over the next two weeks, we will invite everyone to check out the Bachor/ettes that are showcased, and you are encouraged to ‘apply’ to win a date with your favorite Bachelor or Bachelorette! Interested prospects will submit your names and info and picture, along with the “ID #” of the Bachelor or Bachelorette they are applying for, through a simple form set up on the webpage.

“The Matching Phase” : September 10th-17th. After the 2 weeks of “courting” are up, which will be a week before the event, we will go through all the submissions of those who have bid on/applied for dates with the Bachelor/ettes, and select the TOP 3 ‘Finalists’ for each Bachelor/ette (based on the Bachelor/ettes ideal ‘criteria’ that they gave us in the beginning!).

The Live Event & “Voting”! THEN…on September 17th, we will have the live event/Tweetup at Stingaree! The main highlight of the party will be, of course, the live showcasing of the Bachelors & Bachelorettes, where they come up on the catwalk one by one as the EMCEES (DowntownRob & DeAnna Lorraine) run down their bios and ‘vital stats.’

And then, the most exciting part will be what comes next – the “Unveiling of the Matches” –The EMCEES will bring unveil the “Top 3” ‘matches’ or candidates that they have selected, for each Bachelor & Bachelorette (no one has seen who the finalists are yet).

In a fashion similar to ‘The Dating Show,’ the candidates will go up on stage centered around their corresponding Bachelor or Bachelorette, and ‘compete’ by answering some fun trivia questions or other requests by the Bachelor/ette at hand. And based on their answers & how they act, the audience will vote for who they think would make the best match and win the date along with a fabulous Date Package from sponsors!

With that said…Now accepting applicants for the Bachelor/ettes of The Month!

“Courting Period”: August 26th – September 10th. When you will “Bid” on your favorite Single!

Actual Live Event & Tweetup: Thursday, September 17th at Stingaree!

Questions about anything? Want to contact the organizer?

Call: (866) 922-1188 or EMAIL and we will respond promptly

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Take Your Relationship to the Next Level (New!)

by Jay Cataldo, Special Guest Expert of the Week!

Sometimes, the only thing worse than being single is being trapped in a go-nowhere relationship. If the frustration is mounting because your man still hasn’t popped the question, then keep reading….. because I’m about to share with you one of my best tips for enticing a man to sweep you off your feet and carry you right to the altar. (The following article is an excerpt from my free report “Operation Engagement” which you can download HERE)

While it’s totally acceptable for a woman to say to her partner something like, “Sometimes I just don’t feel that you truly value and appreciate me,” it’s difficult for most men to express the same sentiment, since they may consider discussing their feelings to be “girly” or unmanly.

But just because your man may be embarrassed to fully express himself doesn’t mean he isn’t starved for praise and appreciation – especially from the woman he loves.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Just as little girls enjoy pretending to be queens and princesses, almost every man on the planet has had fantasies of ruling over an imaginary kingdom. And just like how you may still occasionally fantasize about being seduced by a real-life prince charming, the desire to pick up a sword and take his rightful place on the throne is still churning beneath the surface in every man.

Here’s where it gets interesting… if you have the ability to make your man feel like a king, you’ll be rewarded with an all-access pass to the deepest recesses of his heart. In fact, this is one of the most powerful seduction techniques of all time used by the world’s greatest seductresses to flat-out mesmerize the opposite sex.

A good friend of mine has mastered this technique, and from doing just this alone, she has received marriage proposals from her last four boyfriends: an investment banker, a partner in an accounting firm, a doctor and a self-made millionaire who lives in a castle (yes, a real castle). And when asked about her secret, she just replies, “All I do is make my boyfriends feel like they’re the king of the world.”

One of the reasons this technique is so devastatingly powerful is because it plays to the hidden dreams and desires that all men have had inside of them since childhood. But another reason is the fact that it’s so incredibly rare to come across a woman who knows how to make a man feel this way!

This is a big one, so I’ll say it again:

If you know how to make a man feel like a king, you’ll easily set yourself apart from the crowd.

You’d be surprised, but I can count on one hand the amount of girls I’ve dated who knew how to do this, and I’ve had plenty of women in my life. However, once you master this skill, you’ll be able to make your man feel so incredibly amazing that he’ll literally become addicted to the good feelings that your presence will bring him.

At this point, no matter how many tanned, toned beach bunnies compete to steal him away, you’ll have nothing to worry about since a man will always choose the woman who makes him feel the way he wants to feel, regardless of her physical beauty or social status. This is an easy way to keep him interested in you over the long haul.

Now please keep in mind that there’s an art to doing this, which goes beyond serving a man his favorite beer in a 48oz goblet and throwing rose petals down at his feet. However, it’s not rocket science either, and with a little instruction and a bit of practice, you can easily unleash the sexy siren inside of you.

I recommend that you get in the habit of praising your man in three key areas:

1. His accomplishments
2. The way he makes you feel
3. His sexual performance

Just this simple step alone will bring so much happiness and good energy to your relationship that you’ll be amazed by the results. To make this even more effective, please keep the following pointers in mind: praise often, but not too often… and never let it become predictable or seem contrived. You should also mean what you say and be sure to put emotion behind your words.

Note: It’s a good idea to hold off on going full steam ahead with this strategy until you’re in a serious relationship, since you could end up scaring off a guy you’re just casually dating.

That’s all for now. Get out there and make it happen.

-Jay Cataldo

Jay Cataldo is a New York life coach and relationship book author who was recently ranked the #1 life coach on Twitter.com. Jay splits his time between his coaching practice and his latest project: DefinitiveDiva.com – a multi-faceted resource which offers expert advice for women in the areas of dating, relationships, business, beauty, health, fitness and more. Jay is known for his top notch tips on how to save a relationship, as well as getting quick and lasting results for his clients all around the world (via webcam).

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This Wk (5/4) is Nat’l Dating Coach Recognition Wk!

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May 4th Begins National Dating & Life Coach Recognition Week…Date for a Cause!

Yes, the week of May 4th – May 9th is officially ‘National Dating & Life Coach Recognition Week’…(You haven’t heard?) So in honor of the holiday, I decided I’m going to whip up a BIG campaign, one that I intend to seriously ‘Stimulate’ the economy in ALL areas. I’m calling it Date for a Cause ® And I’d really love it if you would participate! I need your help too.

My Campaign Goal for the week: To Create 1,000 Dates across the country – for a good cause!

WHAT does that mean? I mean that I want to pledge to stimulate at least 1,000 dates, starting here in San Diego, and trickling all across the US (and even further if I could)! I want to make these dates happen through several different vehicles of my Date Coaching & Advice: Through my daily Blog and Video Blog Tips I’ll be posting on my website each day, through Social Media outlets Twitter, Facebook & YouTube, and also through my one-on-one Date Coaching sessions I’ll be giving during the week at a VERY discounted rate (Sign up for yours here to reserve your spot!), and also through the help of YOU guys and other great Dating & Relationship Experts in other places in the country that will help spread the word and reach our goal! (If you’re a Dating or Relationship Expert and you’re interested in hopping on the campaign with me and being featured, contact me so I can give you the details)

HOW? It’ll be easy! Each of those 5 days (M-F) I’ll record & release a new set of Dating, Approaching & Attraction Tips targeting different key skills each day that that will make it as easy and even enjoyable as possible for every person to get or go on at least one date next week, whether you’re a girl or a guy. With our excellent dating tips, there should be no excuses not to!  I’ll be releasing the dating tips in the form of short 3-minute video clips and written blog posts each day next week right at 8:00am (PST); Find them here on my website, on Twitter and YouTube. Keyword to use when searching: “Dating Stimulus.” Through the effectiveness of our combined Coaching, Tips & Strategies, and the power of social networking & viral communication, with everyone spreading the word to all their different networks, getting just 1,000 people to set up dates should be easy to attain! 

Campaign GOAL: To get at least 1,000 people to go on or set up dates across the country. You don’t have to physically go on the date next week as long as you at least have asked them out and set the date, or have been asked out. And, you do NOT have to be single to participate! If you’re in a relationship, your “date” can be with your spouse or significant other. Because it’s so important that you still make time to date when you’re in a couple, too, which is a crucial key to long-lasting relationships that unfortunately a lot of people forget about!

How will the Dates be Counted? I will be posting up a simple form later this week that will be visible on my homepage so that people can easily update it if they have a date set up and it will keep a running tally.

WHY? Times are so tough right now economically, and this country needs a little lift… and a lot of love! Dating is good for the economy, it’s good for ourselves, and it’s beneficial to your married and relationship. Whatever it is that’s holding you back from dating – whether it’s shyness, finances, stress, lack of dating skills, or what have you, are just mental roadblocks and can be quickly overturned if you really want. Over the next week, myself and other great Dating & Life Coaches will give you strategies & tips that will show you how to get over all those roadblocks and get what you really want. So take this next week as your perfect excuse to make an effort, take action, and go after the love that you really want. PLUS…all the proceeds are going to a great cause. So get your mind off of whatever’s been stressing you back and let’s have some fun!

I’ll post more details in the next few days as I confirm everything, but here is my tentative schedule next week: May 4th-May 9th: National Dating & Life Coach Recognition Week! Make sure you are subscribed to my newsletter or following me on Twitter or Facebook in order to get the most up-to-date details.

Monday, May 4th	I will be releasing my first set of 3-minute Video-recorded Dating Tips that you’ll be able to see on my Website, on Twitter (also connected to my Facebook) & on YouTube. Make sure you catch this first set of key tips, they will make it much easier for you to set up, ask out, BE asked out, and go on those dates! All day from 10am-6pm! I will be at a booth at a central location in San Diego, either at Fashion Valley Mall or in PB in San Diego (I’ll know for sure by Friday and will post it up). If you’re local, stop by and support! I’ll be giving special 25-minute Date Coaching & Strategy Sessions to people for only $25.00 (normally $125) ALL day from 10am-6pm. (Limited to the first 50 people that sign up, so hurry – must Sign up beforehand to reserve yours; Sign-up Form below) I will also be offering exclusive products & giveaways from myself and other relevant companies Then, from 7:00-8pm (PST) I will be broadcasting my Blog Talk Radio Show letting everyone know the results of the first day of the campaign, and special details for the rest of the week. I’ll be joined by several other special guest Dating & Relationship Experts & authors in the industry as well and we’ll do some giveaways, and give out solid insider’s tips & strategies to give you the information you need to multiply your dates in 1 week. We’ll kick off the week right! Click here to tune into my Talk Radio Show.
Tuesday	At 8am I’ll release my 2nd set of Video Dating Tips which you’ll be able to see on my website, Twitter, and YouTube. This time I’ll be giving the tips with a very talented Male Dating Coach, for added male insight! Don’t miss this. I will be set up at the same spot again giving more Date Coaching & Strategy Sessions (both in person and over the phone, so you can still reserve a session at this special price even if you don’t live in SD), plus more special Giveaways, dating & attraction tips, and will be administering free “Dating Needs Assessments!”
Wednesday	I will release my 3rd set of Video Dating Tips on my website, Twitter, and YouTube at 8:00am for a new set of skills to help you. Watch for them. Catch me online all day in my Dating Forums here on my website, where I’ll be answering all your dating questions and chatting with followers live all day.  Then in the evening from 7:00-8:00pm (PST) join me in my FREE Dating Tele-Seminar on: How to enhance your Date-ability, Attraction & Romantic Market Value! Held over the phone. To join, simply dial this number:
Thursday	At 8am I will release my 4th set of Video Dating Tips for you to implement. Then, from 7:00-8:00pm (PST): I will be holding a “Virtual Singles & Tweed-Dating Party” online on Twitter! It’s going to be a blast the first of its kind, so be a part of it. To join the party, simply go to Tweetgrid.com, and enter in Hashtag #Twingles Meet other singles, mingle, talk to myself and other dating experts and have fun! See who you meet.
Friday	I’ll Release the 5th and final set of my Video Dating Tips, for one last push to get everyone set up on dates! As usual, check for these on Twitter, YouTube and my website blog. I will start tallying up the dates, and hopefully there will be at least 1,000 dates that have been (or will soon be) had, and lots of money going to charity. Let’s do it!

Sign up for any or all of the events or activities above for the week by filling out the contact form below! In the message, please specify if you’re signing up to reserve your Date Coaching Session next week, (limited spots) or to sign up for my Teleseminar on Wednesday, or simply to request more info about the week and how you can participate. I will confirm with you once I receive your email. Thank you for participating, and please spread the word!

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What to get your Lover for Christmas?

What to get your Girlfriend or Boyfriend for Christmas?? Well this has always been a tricky dilemma, especially for new couples.
But the first thing to do is rather than evaluate your status simply in terms of how long you’ve been together, you should to evaluate your relationship based on intensity and level of commitment, as some couples move at a faster or slower pace than others. How often do you see each other? How close are you two? The biggest factor I would look at when determining this is…have you exchanged “I Love You’s” yet? If you have not exchanged the big words yet, or have only have a few times, you should remain in the relatively casual zone. This means your gifts should usually be under $100, and they shouldn’t be tooo sentimental. Perhaps even talk to each other and establish a budget upfront or at least a range that you both will stay in, so that 1 person doesn’t spend way too much and another spends way too little. That can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. So, I would stay away from things like diamonds and engraved items. For the ladies, a nice sweater or shirt, some cozy pajama pants or nice silk boxers, cologne, sunglasses, CD, (or you can burn one of music the two of you like, for an added personal touch) or a combination of some of those items would all be great gifts for guys in that level of relationship. For you lads, a bottle of nice perfume, chocolates, flowers, nice lingerie, an expensive bottle of champagne, or a pendant or sterling silver bracelet or earrings would all be great gifts. Stay away from rings, but necklaces with semi-precious stones ( i.e., aquamarine, blue topaz, amethyst, etc.) would be acceptable. Diamonds, Sapphires and Rubies are precious stone and imply a deeper level of commitment. Another tip for the guys, I would stay away from buying her shirts, dresses, pants etc, unless she specifically asked for it. Not only will you probably not be on target with the style and size, is it very impersonal too, and can be insulting to some ladies. Another gift no-no: Gift Certificates! Stay far, far away from gift certificates, unless someone specifies they want one. It’s very impersonal.

For the deeper stages of relationships: If this is not your first Christmas together, or if you’ve exchanged the Big Words and feel you are both on the same page in your level of commitment to each other, you can step up the level of sentimentality in the gifts. Try getting items engraved, buying a necklace with a diamond pendant, a designer purse, or things in that realm.

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High-Impact Power Coaching Sessions

Holiday Coaching Specials for men and women. Now I am offering new “Dating Success Power Sessions” to get you well on your way to success for fast results.

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DeAnna’s Dating Advice

What to get your Girlfriend or Boyfriend for Christmas?? Well this has always been a tricky dilemma, especially for new couples.
But the first thing to do is rather than evaluate your status simply in terms of how long you’ve been together, you should to evaluate your relationship based on intensity and level of commitment, as some couples move at a faster or slower pace than others. How often do you see each other?

Read more

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