Make yourself Memorable

Ways to Make yourself More Memorable with Men

DeAnna Lorraine

Most girls that men come across fall into the category of “replaceable.” They don’t stand out. Some of these common, “predictable” behaviors in women are:

•    Dumb, dull, and don’t have a lot of insight to contribute
•    Once they like him they confess their all their feelings & get all ‘mushy.’
•    Make themselves too available
•    Sleep with them early on
•    Wrap themselves up in him & don’t have a life or friends outside of him
•    Act really jealous and possessive and clingy and needy
•    Are not emotionally stable
•    Lose themselves in them, then become predictable, boring & unattractive.

Men come across girls like these so often that they almost assume that new women they encounter are going to follow this trend. And, sadly, most girls will. But that’s good news for you, because YOU will be different. That’s because you’ve got me on your side to give you some pointers, as men and ex-boyfriends have deemed me so ‘memorable’ that they could “never find another girl like me again” so “marry me now, damnit!” (yes, every man I’ve ever dated has told me this . So, you’re going to catch him by surprise. And that’s what he’s waiting for, for some girl to be totally different, refreshing and ‘finally’ be something worth changing for and working for!  So in order to not get tossed in this ‘replaceable’ bin within 5 weeks, you’ve therefore got to make yourself MEMORABLE to him. How do you become memorable? Well, first, don’t do any of those things above. Just Now making yourself more memorable will actually involve some inner soul searching to answer these questions and create this attitude.

• What makes you YOU? What sets you apart from the dozens of other women that cross a man’s path every day? What makes you so great to date, anyhow? Define & list your valuable assets.
• What things/traits/qualities/talents do you have to offer someone?
• What interests & hobbies do you have that make you more dynamic?

Take some time to think about this and even write down some answers; this will help strengthen and distinguish your unique identity. They say like attracts like. That means, ‘dull attracts dull,’ and ‘amazing attracts amazing.’ If you’re going after a man who’s vibrant and charismatic and interesting and diverse, you had better be all of those things too! Or else, don’t be disappointed if he isn’t very interested without you making some improvements yourself. Bring something different and of value to the table so he sees that you are stand out from other women. In the most subtle form, don’t be a bump on a log when he’s talking to you. Be witty, offer some interesting insights, challenge his views a little, don’t be too agreeable.

At a deeper level, work to actually become a more genuinely interesting person. Start by taking an honest inventory of your life and activities and friends and even personality traits. How does it fare? Is there anything you wish you were more of, or anything you’d like to expand or add to your life? Maybe you wish you were more funny or interesting? Then work on it. Read more books, watch and read the news every day, work on expanding your vocabulary. Maybe your life just consists of work and friends and you want to add more elements to it. Well, then go do it. Perhaps take up a salsa dancing class or join a hiking group or learn Italian or travel. My point is, the best way to attract your ‘dream man’ is by being that dream partner yourself that has all the qualities that you are seeking. By adding new things to your life, you’ll become a more dynamic & interesting person will have more to talk about on dates and you’ll have more value to bring to the table, which will in turn help to set you apart from other women he comes across. Men are motivated to commit to a woman who excites them. They dump women who bore them. They are infatuated with the spontaneous, adventurous woman. Not the predictable, safe woman. So if you’ve had a string of relationships that seem to share the common theme of a man cheating on you, dumping you, or not wanting to commit to you…perhaps you should evaluate what motivating, exciting factors you have (or are lacking) that drive a man to commitment.

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The Art of Holding Back

The Art of Holding Back to Gain Men’s Respect

In order to truly attract men, you must always remember your high value and remember to hold yourself in high value. This means that since something of high value is ‘not easily attained,’ you’ve got to hold back in the beginning of relationships. Hold back a little on confessing your feelings toward him. Hold back from making plans so readily with him or being so accommodating and available. Hold back from sexual behaviors as well. Don’t let him ‘get’ you so easily. Remember, the girl he’s going to be inspired to commit to is the girl that gives him a good chase, that makes him work for it (but demonstrates enough value so that that ‘it’ is worth him working for)  And that girl should be none other than you. You are valuable enough of a ‘prize’ for him to work for. So demonstrate that.

Demonstrate the Art of High Value & Holding Back by:

-Having healthy boundaries & tactfully letting him know when he’s crossed them
-Emotionally and with your Feelings. Not exclaiming that you’re ‘gaga’ over him in the     beginning; leaving him guessing a little.
-Holding back sexually in the beginning
-Retaining your ‘Mystery’ element. Not letting him totally figure you out yet.
-Holding back with your Availability – Establishing your Scarcity

Aside from just holding yourself back because you truly are valuable, holding yourself back a little also retains that sense of mystery. And having a sense of mystery is one of the key ingredients that creates—and sustains—attraction. Mystery intrigues us. Giving yourself up too easily or making it known that you like him so quickly diminishes any sense of mystery for him. If he knows he’s got you gaga already or if he knows he’s got you all figured out, then what more is there for him to work for? Would the game hide-and-go-seek be any fun at all if at the first sign of the seeker’s difficulty, you pop out and reveal yourself? No, that ruins the fun! And isn’t that quiet guy at your work just a little more sexy because you don’t know what he’s all about?  So, holding back a little and giving that sense of elusiveness not only increases your perceived value, it enhances that mystery element that makes him want you that much more. Holding back gives guys that guesswork and challenge and mental stimulation that they love and crave. That ‘does she or doesn’t she want me’ triggers excitement for him, and holding back is the fuel that drives men wild with strategies to win you over. The key is to always leave him wanting more.

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