More Bachelorette Dating Faux Pas: Episode 6!

The Bachelorette Recap in Dating Do’s & Dont’s!

Episode 6

1. Justin and his Two-Timing: Wow… I don’t even think the word “Tool” with a capitol “T” could sum up this poor excuse for a man. We discovered that he got on the show with a big scheme of going on the show purely for the purpose of “becoming famous,” and once he made it to the ‘top 3,’ he was planning on ditching Ali – and running off and marrying his girlfriend – yes, girlfriend, of two years! And then if that wasn’t bad enough…it turns out he has had another girlfriend too! Wow, this is karma at its greatest. Let this be a lesson to everyone that what goes around really does come around. And relationship karma, especially, is quite the bitch. Another lesson here: Women TALK. You never want to mess with a woman scorned. Women will do whatever it takes to make sure that no other woman will touch you with a 10-foot pole – and Ali made sure of this, by calling him out and giving it to him on national TV. Nice work Ali!

1. Craig’s Fun but “Friend”-ly Date: With Craig’s one-on-one date with Ali, they had a nice time and went to some romantic spots, and even watched a fireworks display from the rooftop of their boat cruise. Everything was set up to BE romantic… Yet … there was no actual sparks. Every time they shot Ali and Craig together, they were having pleasant conversations and he was making her laugh, often even putting his arms around her and holding her, but it seemed like every time he was about to go in for a kiss or when there was definitely an opportunity to… he chickened out and gave her a cheek hug instead. Whether it was nerves or lack of confidence or know-how, he didn’t just execute, didn’t just GO in for it. And when guys just stick in that PG zone of putting their arm around you, hugging you and holding you, but never just confidently put the romantic moves on and kick it up a notch, guess what… She’s going to only think of you as a kind of guy she could hug and laugh with, but not kiss. Thus… into the Friend Zone you get placed. So it was no surprise to me that out of all the guys remaining, Ali chose to let Craig go in the rose ceremony; and her reason? “The romance is just not there.” And her words, were the romantic kiss of death… “He’s a great guy. He’s so funny, so sweet…” Words that you don’t want to hear as a man!

1. Roberto’s Ever-Comforting Moves: When Ali stormed into the men’s hotel suite fuming and in tears (I literally thought I saw traces of steam coming out of her ears), calling out Justin to the group, Roberto offered great support by putting his big strong arms around her and comforting her, letting her know that “It’s Okay, everything’s going to be fine.”  You could tell she seemed to calm down a bit after that and she appreciated the comforting touch. Lesson learned here: ALL women appreciate that! Props to Roberto again, for seizing an opportunity to act like the Man and show her that he can be her rock. The other guys just sat there in stupor. But who is she going to remember most in the situation? The guy who made her feel safe and supported. Men, grab as many opportunities as possible to show a woman that you can BE there for her, and she will feel safe and good around you… and you WILL end up being there for her, in the end.

1. Frank  Lugging his Rug: As Frank and Ali were shopping around in the Bazarre in Turkey, they found themselves in a little rug store and got cornered by an aggressive Turkish man trying to sell him a rug. Frank kept on repeating over and over again to the camera that he wasn’t going to buy this rug, that he had no need for a rug, and there was no way he was going to carry that around for the rest of the date. …But alas, the next scene that follows shows poor Frank walking away carrying this 10-foot rug on his shoulders. Note to men – don’t get suckered into something that you don’t want to do or buy in front of your girl. We’ll begin to wonder where your backbone is. On the flip side though, Frank did do a great job in his date of being lots of fun and high-energy, upbeat, and spontaneous. He always held her close and kissed her a lot, grabbed her hand tight and led her through the crowds, and treated her like she was already his girlfriend, which is what helps a woman actually associate you with being her boyfriend and what will likely pull him ahead of the competition.

1. Ali’s Fighting Faux Pas: On the group date with the 6 guys, after the poor guys had already spent the whole day on their feet touring historical sites of Istanbul, Ali informed them that she was taking them to a ‘Big Surprise.’ And as it turned out… this “big surprise” was a group of 6 oiled and shirtless Turkish men, or, professional “Olive-Oil Wrestlers,” waiting to oil-wrestle the guys, on the ground in the freezing cold. Talk about a buzz-kill! Then after the guys got crushed by these professional men who were no match for them, she announced that they now had to fight – each other! I’m sorry, but that just wasn’t a very cool girl move, I don’t care who you are. It’s enough that these men have to fight for her and woo her every day on national television, and jump through hoops for her every episode, but then to have to physically fight for her after a long day of sightseeing and then fight their own buddies, who they’ve grown to be their comrades? I thought that was a little cruel and unusual. If you give men enough of a prize, they will fight for you anyway and will want to do it on their own merit, but if you force a guy to fight for you, that may very likely only create resentment in him and have the opposite effect. Boo.

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Don’t Miss DeAnna’s Show This Thursday!

Tune into my Talk Radio Show this Thursday at a special time from 5:30 pm – 6:30 pm PST, (but usually every Thursday) at 4:30-5:30 pm PST, Cutting Edge Dating, on Blog Talk Radio. Today’s show promises to be lots of fun with featured guest Mr. Jay Vohra, founder and implementer of the “I’ve Never….” game, a fun and sexy game of truth designed to show and reveal interesting and juicy tidbits about you or your partner. Join us as we learn all about how the game was created, how it works, and how YOU can use it in your own game of love.

Tune in to the radio show or better yet, CALL in (646) 716-9631 and add your two cents, rants or raves about the special guest or topic at hand, or ask a question for either of us about anything we’ve been talking about. Don’t be shy & Hold back nothing, we love to hear you stir up the pot! Tune in by listening to the show here (click on the logo below): Then bookmark it!

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Don’t Miss DeAnna’s Show This Thursday!

Tune into my Talk Radio Show this Thursday (and every Thursday) at 4:30-5:30pm PST, Cutting Edge Dating, on Blog Talk Radio. This show is all about the blind date, and how our featured guest Miss Elizabeth Fournier, found true love through a series of blind dates! Set off by her broken engagement, she enlists everyone in sight to set her up in a passionate quest to meet just one really great guy. Elizabeth chronicles her true life dating spree as a marriage-minded and mid-30’s mortician in her book “A Lovelorn Mortician and Her 77 Blind Dates: New Memoir Explores the Peaks and Pitfalls of Modern Matchmaking”.

Tune in to the radio show or better yet, CALL in (646) 716-9631 and add your two cents, rants or raves about the special guest or topic at hand, or ask a question for either of us about anything we’ve been talking about. Don’t be shy & Hold back nothing, we love to hear you stir up the pot! Tune in by listening to the show here (click on the logo below): Then bookmark it!

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Love Styles (& Lessons) of the Rich & Famous

Which Love Style are YOU?

1. Jennifer Anniston:
1. Her Love Style? Nice… but Plain, Predictable, and Bor-ing! Aka, “Replaceable.”
2. Lesson Learned: Make sure YOU are not just the ‘ordinary,’ replaceable girl. Be conscious of when you may be becoming predictable and boring in your relationships; Mix it up, and find ways to stand out from other women.

(More details in full version)

2. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt:
1. Brangelina’s Love Style: Exciting, Mysterious, Fun & Unpredictable! The ideal ingredients for a long-lasting, passionate relationship. The only concern here is that there are so many children that they will become the sole focus and the relationship will merely become “all about the kids.”
2. Lesson Learned: Either you’re growing together or you’re growing apart. Make a commitment to regularly try new things with your partner, challenge each other, learn & grow upwards together. Don’t fall into the trap of letting your kids become the sole focus of your lives rather than your relationship with your lover.

3. Leonardo DiCaprio:
1. Love Style: The “Packaging Trap.” Focused primarily on the outside “packaging” without looking very far into the inside. Only dates Supermodels and gorgeous women, but in the end, has nothing to show for them.
2. Lessons Learned: Grow up & get over the ego-boost of having a beautiful trophy girl on your arm and start seeking out partners that you’re compatible with at a deeper level if you actually want a long-lasting, genuine relationship & connection.

4. Kristin Cavallari, Kate Hudson, Jude Law:
1. Love Style: The Magnetic Players: They never have a shortage of dates, enjoy keeping their options open, and are independent, fun, alluring and magnetic!
2. Lesson Learned: When you have a carefree & fun approach to dating and an abundance attitude rather than a scarcity mindset, you will literally act as a “magnet” to others & attract an abundance of options! (See my website for more on adopting the “abundance attitude” & eliminating the “Scarcity” mindset)

5. Will Smith & Jada Pinkett; Barack & Michelle Obama:
1. Their Love Style: “Powerful, Passionate Partnership.” These couples are Best Friends, Power Partners and Supportive Lovers. They embody that of a true complimentary partnership comprised of strong, powerful men and equally strong, assertive women but who balance each other out and challenge each other but without any power struggle. They still have fun together & also understand the importance of keeping the romance alive through regular “Date Nights” and alone time.
2. Lesson Learned: Support each other’s goals and dreams, act as a team, and be friends and lovers. Be sure to maintain your romantic connection through the craziness of your lives through regular bonding activities like Date Nights and romantic getaways.

6. Jessica Simpson:
1. Love Style: Smothering, Clingy, and Wears her Heart on her Sleeve! She is always gushing about her boyfriends, and never leaves her feelings to imagination. In recent interview calling Tony Romo her “future husband,” and immersing herself in the men she dates.
2. Lesson Learned: Avoid wearing your heart on your sleeve and don’t offer up all your feelings in the beginning of the relationship, especially when your partner has not yet expressed his/hers. Whenever you’re tempted to gush about how much you like your new love interest, take a breath, hold it back, and wait. Mystery is key to building attraction.

7. Justin Timberlake:
1. Love Style: “The Serial Monogamist.” JT drifts from one long-term relationship right on into the next and then the next, without ever any time just spent being single and figuring out what he really wants. This wastes a lot of time.
2. Lesson learned: You should know within the first 6 months (1 year at the most) whether or not this person has got wife or husband potential for you; and if it’s been longer than 6 months or a year and you’re still “on the fence” about her/him, still not certain whether she/he is the one….99% of the time, she/he’s not. So break it off sooner and don’t draw it out.

8. Jon & Kate ( + 8 ) :
1. Love Style: Imbalanced, Unhealthy and Manipulative! Kate is far too controlling and manipulative and clearly wears the “pants,” while Jon is far too passive and weak; years of her controlling him and all their decisions with him never asserting himself has resulted in a deflated man, and dysfunctional relationship where the children are the sole focus, and eventually, the marriage’s demise.
2. Lesson Learned: Kate pushed her desires on Jon, and coerced him into doing things he didn’t really want( like having more kids); Women, if you push something on a man that doesn’t really want it but is doing it just to please you, it’s not going to result in a positive outcome. And men, if you don’t really want something, you need to speak up and assert yourself and negotiate rather than giving in just to please your woman.

9. Bill & Hillary Clinton:
1. Love Style: All business & no romance, this pair’s relationship is more like that of business partners than actual lovers.
2. Lesson Learned: If you are a working couple or are in business you’re your partner, don’t get so caught up in the minutia of work and business that you forget about passion and intimacy; Remember that you are partners and lovers first and foremost, and make time to be romantic and sensual with each other. Keep your sex life alive and fresh!

10. Bella & Edward: Vampire Couple of Twilight!
1. Love Style: Dramatic, passionate and unorthodox. Bella is a strong, independent, highly intelligent and assertive woman and Edward is “all man,” They don’t have to argue or compete for the dominant role in the relationship; this is an opportunity for a strong woman be with a man strong enough for her to be vulnerable and let him take the lead.
2. Lesson Learned: Men, Edward represents what women REALLY want in a man; a strong man in and of himself, but without the need to “prove” or exert his strength; a man who takes care of and protects his woman, who is strong enough to be romantic and vulnerable, and who can create a safe haven for women to fully be themselves and reveal their vulnerabilities and desires without fearing that you’ll run away, be threatened or scared off by our emotions. Also, woman love the rare man with enough self control where his focus isn’t wrapped up solely in the end goal of sex, but he is intelligent enough to see the rewards of the long-term. Master these techniques of Edward, and you’ll be a man women won’t be able to resist!

For the full version of these tips or to schedule a Date Coaching or Hypnosis Session to enhance your dating success, simply contact me via email at Deanna@DeannaLorraine.com, or check out the rest of my website!

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Don’t Miss DeAnna’s Radio Show This Thursday!

Tune into my Talk Radio Show this Thursday (and every Thursday) at 4:30-5:30pm PST, Cutting Edge Dating, on Blog Talk Radio. Special guest Mr. Scot McKay. A dating guru in his own right, Scot McKay is a refreshing and straightforward perspective on how men can attain the woman of their dreams via on-line, and he has the formula to prove it!

Tune in to the radio show or better yet, CALL in (646) 716-9631 and add your two cents, rants or raves about the special guest or topic at hand, or ask a question for either of us about anything we’ve been talking about. Don’t be shy & Hold back nothing, we love to hear you stir up the pot! Tune in by listening to the show here (click on the logo below): Then bookmark it!

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Don’t Miss DeAnna’s Show This Thursday!

Tune into my Talk Radio Show this Thursday (and every Thursday) at 4:30-5:30pm PST, Cutting Edge Dating, on Blog Talk Radio. Today we welcome another author, Ms. Terri Lee Ryan. Dynamic and certainly very attractive, Ms. Ryan shows us women that yes, there is love after 40 as detailed in her book “Life Is One Big To-Do List: A Woman’s Life After 40″. Injected with a large dose of life experience, the book tackles issues head-on, such as dealing with divorce, re-entering the dating world, to finally realizing that, yes, it is your life to live and love.

Tune in to the radio show or better yet, CALL in (646) 716-9631 and add your two cents, rants or raves about the special guest or topic at hand, or ask a question for either of us about anything we’ve been talking about. Don’t be shy & Hold back nothing, we love to hear you stir up the pot! Tune in by listening to the show here (click on the logo below): Then bookmark it!

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Don’t Miss DeAnna’s Radio Show This Thursday!

Tune into my Talk Radio Show this Thursday (and every Thursday) at 4:30-5:30pm PST, Cutting Edge Dating, on Blog Talk Radio. Today we are featuring Robbie Lee, author of “The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide To Picking Up a Hottie-Written By a Woman Who Loves Women”. Like the title says, Robbie is a woman who loves women. She has dated more than 300 gay,straight, or bi-sexual women and offers strategies and techniques to help men get the woman of their dreams. Ultimately,by helping men, she in turn gains an unique perspective on what men want. Combine it with her own experience with dating and loving women, and she is able to help YOU ladies, get a better man. Also joining us will be my friend New York Life Coach Jay Cataldo, who is going to enlighten us with some of his crazy experiences with women while “on the field!”

Tune in to the radio show or better yet, CALL in (646) 716-9631 and add your two cents, rants or raves about the special guest or topic at hand, or ask a question for either of us about anything we’ve been talking about. Don’t be shy & Hold back nothing, we love to hear you stir up the pot! Tune in by listening to the show here (click on the logo below): Then bookmark it!

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Don’t Miss DeAnna’s Radio Show this Thursday!

Tune into my Talk Radio Show this Thursday (and every Thursday) at 4:30-5:30pm PST, Cutting Edge Dating, on Blog Talk Radio. Today we’ll have special guest and host of“Cheaters” Joey Greco. As the host of the nationally syndicated reality show “Cheaters”® since 2002, Joey Greco helps Cheaters® clients cope with infidelity in their relationships. Greco’s stern but soothing on-camera style has helped numerous individuals deal with heartbreak from unfaithfulness and find closure from meaningless or abusive relationships.

Tune in to the radio show or better yet, CALL in (646) 716-9631 and add your two cents, rants or raves about the special guest or topic at hand, or ask a question for either of us about anything we’ve been talking about. Don’t be shy & Hold back nothing, we love to hear you stir up the pot! Tune in by listening to the show here (click on the logo below): Then bookmark it!

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Take Your Relationship to the Next Level (New!)

by Jay Cataldo, Special Guest Expert of the Week!

Sometimes, the only thing worse than being single is being trapped in a go-nowhere relationship. If the frustration is mounting because your man still hasn’t popped the question, then keep reading….. because I’m about to share with you one of my best tips for enticing a man to sweep you off your feet and carry you right to the altar. (The following article is an excerpt from my free report “Operation Engagement” which you can download HERE)

While it’s totally acceptable for a woman to say to her partner something like, “Sometimes I just don’t feel that you truly value and appreciate me,” it’s difficult for most men to express the same sentiment, since they may consider discussing their feelings to be “girly” or unmanly.

But just because your man may be embarrassed to fully express himself doesn’t mean he isn’t starved for praise and appreciation – especially from the woman he loves.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Just as little girls enjoy pretending to be queens and princesses, almost every man on the planet has had fantasies of ruling over an imaginary kingdom. And just like how you may still occasionally fantasize about being seduced by a real-life prince charming, the desire to pick up a sword and take his rightful place on the throne is still churning beneath the surface in every man.

Here’s where it gets interesting… if you have the ability to make your man feel like a king, you’ll be rewarded with an all-access pass to the deepest recesses of his heart. In fact, this is one of the most powerful seduction techniques of all time used by the world’s greatest seductresses to flat-out mesmerize the opposite sex.

A good friend of mine has mastered this technique, and from doing just this alone, she has received marriage proposals from her last four boyfriends: an investment banker, a partner in an accounting firm, a doctor and a self-made millionaire who lives in a castle (yes, a real castle). And when asked about her secret, she just replies, “All I do is make my boyfriends feel like they’re the king of the world.”

One of the reasons this technique is so devastatingly powerful is because it plays to the hidden dreams and desires that all men have had inside of them since childhood. But another reason is the fact that it’s so incredibly rare to come across a woman who knows how to make a man feel this way!

This is a big one, so I’ll say it again:

If you know how to make a man feel like a king, you’ll easily set yourself apart from the crowd.

You’d be surprised, but I can count on one hand the amount of girls I’ve dated who knew how to do this, and I’ve had plenty of women in my life. However, once you master this skill, you’ll be able to make your man feel so incredibly amazing that he’ll literally become addicted to the good feelings that your presence will bring him.

At this point, no matter how many tanned, toned beach bunnies compete to steal him away, you’ll have nothing to worry about since a man will always choose the woman who makes him feel the way he wants to feel, regardless of her physical beauty or social status. This is an easy way to keep him interested in you over the long haul.

Now please keep in mind that there’s an art to doing this, which goes beyond serving a man his favorite beer in a 48oz goblet and throwing rose petals down at his feet. However, it’s not rocket science either, and with a little instruction and a bit of practice, you can easily unleash the sexy siren inside of you.

I recommend that you get in the habit of praising your man in three key areas:

1. His accomplishments
2. The way he makes you feel
3. His sexual performance

Just this simple step alone will bring so much happiness and good energy to your relationship that you’ll be amazed by the results. To make this even more effective, please keep the following pointers in mind: praise often, but not too often… and never let it become predictable or seem contrived. You should also mean what you say and be sure to put emotion behind your words.

Note: It’s a good idea to hold off on going full steam ahead with this strategy until you’re in a serious relationship, since you could end up scaring off a guy you’re just casually dating.

That’s all for now. Get out there and make it happen.

-Jay Cataldo

Jay Cataldo is a New York life coach and relationship book author who was recently ranked the #1 life coach on Twitter.com. Jay splits his time between his coaching practice and his latest project: DefinitiveDiva.com – a multi-faceted resource which offers expert advice for women in the areas of dating, relationships, business, beauty, health, fitness and more. Jay is known for his top notch tips on how to save a relationship, as well as getting quick and lasting results for his clients all around the world (via webcam).

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