This is a “quick and dirty” set of Tips, Do’s & Dont’s for GUYS on how to plan for the big day and What to do for their girl – A Must-Read for every guy whether you’ve just started dating a girl, or you’ve been married for years. C’mon now, would I leave you hanging?? Read on, and follow these guidelines and you will have a very HAPPY and satisfied (and frisky) girl! … And good luck on the big day!
- Do SOMETHING! Yes, she IS going to notice if you don’t do anything. Don’t think you’re just going to somehow slip under the radar if you pretend to ignore it. Trust me, that date has been burned in her calendar for the entire year and circled in red.
- Valentines Day is secretly known to women as the ‘barometer’ of the relationship. Anything you do is a test and your girl thinks it will reveal how you “really” feel about her and the relationship. So… Proceed cautiously! Don’t fall into any danger traps.
- Most girls will not admit this, but V-Day is really a major unspoken “competition” among women and their friends since the beginning of time – And whoever gets the best gift or surprises from their boyfriend or husband “WINS!” And will have the envy of all her friends. So you’d better be the “best man” and make sure your girl “wins” her little competition by scheming up an unforgettable Valentines.
- Make sure you Plan AHEAD – Don’t wait until last minute. Make sure you know your work schedule, her schedule, etc. ahead of time and plan accordingly. I remember vividly one year where a guy I was seeing at the time actually *gasp* sent me a text, the night BEFORE Valentines day, saying, “Hey babe, so what are the plans for Valentines tomorrow??” Um yeah…. I am no longer with this guy. Lol.
- Make sure to make reservations & do any booking of hotels, restaurants and activities as early in advance as possible! Restaurants and hotels usually are all booked up if you wait until the week of to make a reservation (or sometimes 2-3 weeks prior!) plus you’ll have to pay more. So plan, reserve, and book whatever you are going to do at least 1-2 weeks before Valentines! Last-minute “winging” stuff does not fly on Valentines Day guys! All you’ll end up is embarrassed and starving because all restaurants & hotels will be full.
- Don’t try to “rebel” against all the “cheesy” or “cliché” romantic stuff that you see saturating the grocery store aisles… They are there for a reason, and they are “cliche” for a reason – they WORK. So DO it! Most women really do love all those frou-frou things. They bring us back to our little girl days and make us feel all special and loved inside. Cheesy, I know, but just go for the most ridiculous and huge display of chocolates, flowers and silly teddy bears, and you’ll get a very happy (and frisky) girl out of it.
- Make sure you actually ASK her and make specific plans with her for Valentines day or for the weekend, She may think you’re just trying to skip out on it and may end up finding herself another date! I know this might sound like a no-brainer or an implied invitation, but you’d be surprised… Yes, “cordially” ask her out. (Oh just so we’re clear, it is TUESDAY, February 14th guys! Always Feb. 14th, every year…including Leap year ; )
- Send Flowers or Roses to her work – the more embarrassing, ridiculous and lavish the display, the better. 99% of all women young and old love to be sent flowers to their work (especially because she’ll feel like a loser if other girls are getting flowers and she isn’t!)
- If you really want to be unique & have her “win the competition,” send Roses to her work the day BEFORE V-Day, then perhaps a different color of roses on the actual day OF V-Day.
- PLAN the evening or weekend and make it a surprise for her – this is all part of the seduction that she will love & be impressed by. Women love to be swept away and surprised, so take this opportunity to do so. Do Not openly “brainstorm” with her about what she’d like to do for Valentines, or ask her what she feels like doing! Just be a man and plan it yourself.
- Do NOT get her any Gift Certificates as a gift. It’s so lame and impersonal! Please no “Massage” or Manicure gift certificates, especially. You might as well put a sign on it that says “I didn’t have any time to think of anything personal or creative, so I got you this very effortless gift.”
- Do NOT take her to any chain or cheap restaurants. Go somewhere ideally where she can wear a great hot dress, and somewhere she’s never been.
- Do NOT mention cost of anything, complain about the over-inflated prices, Gasp at the bill, or ask her to “chip in” for anything. I know the prices are about triple for everything just for that night and I do feel for you guys, but just handle the evening like a Man and suck it up!
- Do NOT forget “The Card!” You may think it’s trivial, but trust me – she IS going to be anticipating your card, and will be looking at How you SIGN the card – “Love” or “Best”? Etc.? Do you just sign your name under the Hallmark poetry, or do you add some personal note of your own? We girls give meaning to the card.
- Last but not least… One more thing to remember guys… “If you forget the V-Day… you can forget the V-J-J!” 😉
Now for your Gift-Giving Guide, depending on your stage of Relationship:
1. Brand New Relationship (1-3 months): 1 Dozen Roses (or, half-Dozen Roses sent to her work/office, and bring the other half when you see her), Fine Chocolates, a cheesy stuffed animal and a nice Restaurant/Dinner out or cooked at home, & a semi-casual but sweet card, “looking forward to the future…”
2. Dating 6-12 months: Bracelet or Pendant, such as Tiffanie’s, or designer Perfume, Tasteful Lingerie. Nice Restaurant, Hotel suite; Do the Rose Petals all over the bed & in bathtub.
3. Together 1-2 Years: SURPRISE her with a Romantic Weekend Getaway somewhere, Fancy dinner, Limo, Diamond necklace/pendant, or earrings or watch, Surprise her with something fun like have a singing Valentine Gram come to her home & serenade her, Arrive at her home with a horse-drawn carriage like Cinderella and whisk her off, or an old-Fashioned classic Car, Kidnap her, blindfold her and don’t tell her where you’re going.
4. Married: Write her a Romantic Love Letter, Burned CD, Personal Coupon Book, Scrapbook or Digital Picture Frame, professional Couples photos, Couples Massage or Spa day, Weekend Romantic Getaway (kidnap), Star named after her, Serenade a romantic song to her, or better yet, your Wedding song!
Have fun, make it romantic for her… And good luck guys!
DeAnna Lorraine is a San Diego Dating Coach and Dating expert